Dad met Mum whilst he was working as a porter at Mansfield General Hospital in the early 1960s . Dad had recently finished his degree in History at the London School of Economics, and was training to be a teacher. My mum had left school at 16 with decent academic qualifications for a girl from a council estate. She loved science subjects and had passed 8 O Levels. After leaving school she trained to be a nurse.

They Married in 1963 in Mansfield. Shortly after, they  moved to Malaysia,  my father having secured a job teaching English to the Ghurkas at RAF Butterworth in Penang. They would stay in Malaysia for ?? years,  with a break of 9 months in 196?? When we lived back in Farnsfield, before Dad got a contact renewal in Malaya. In Malaya they had  three children. They lived amongst an expatriate community of Australians, British and Americans. We had a maid called ‘Get Sum’  who helped with childcare.

The lifestyle in Malaysia must have been far removed from the 1950s Mansfield that my parents grew up in.

Dad would play football and rugby and run with the Hash House Harriers. After the sport there was plenty of beer to be drunk.

I have seen pictures of Dad from this time; he is young, tanned, black haired, handsome; sometimes with a goatee beard, other times just stubbly; he has crooked teeth.  He is sweaty after a Hash run, he is astride a moped either before or after work, he is muzzling Jane. There is one where Dad is dressed as Clint Eastwood style cowboy, with cigarillo dangling from his mouth. I have a programme from a Penang Sports Club rugby match held in 1965; my son Ned presented this at a show and tell in primary school.

There are photos of Mum at the swimming pool with Jane; at social events with Dad; at Jeffs christening: Jeff is wearing the christening gown that we all wore, and fits into Mums hand. I am wearing shorts. Jane is usually gappy toothed; there are photos of her holding my hand as we go to nursery school together, of her playing in parks with friends. 

We always say that Jane could swim before she could walk.

After Mum died, and when Dad started clearing away some of the excess stuff in the house before moving, I rescued from the rubbish a folder that included photos from Malaya, of Mum and Dad and friends, most likely the Grinrods, a family that also came from the East Midlands, and who Mum and Dad kept in close contact with when we (and they) moved back to England. Some of the photos are annotated with witty comments; everyone appears healthy and happy in them, joyous, aware that life, twenty years after the second world war, has much to offer.

When we were back in England I always thought Mum and Dad’s time in Malaysia to be incredibly romantic.  Mum commented to me many years later, that at the time life seemed idyllic, and they did not realise how close they were to the war in Vietnam. I liked the way that my early life seemed  quite unusual, and that I was well-travelled.

Jane was born in 1964, and myself 18 months later.

 I was pulled out of the womb with a Von Teuze. Dad was not present at the actual birth itself, this being the 1960s,  but after the messy business was complete, the doctor invited my father into his office for a celebratory scotch and cigar. “I am afraid your son might have a misshapen head” said the doctor; at the time my father was taken aback slightly, but was reassured that the head would sink back into a normal shape in due course, so there was no need to forego the drink and cigar.

My first distinct memory is being stood at the top of a path, surrounded by jungle, on a hot and steamy day. Dad has said that this will have been in the Cameron Highlands, where we went occasionally for trips. (The Highlands are 240km from Penang, so I am not sure how often we went, and whether for day trips or for longer).

 I remember the swimming pool we visited, the cockroaches, our maid called ‘Goik Sum’, (pronounced ‘Get Sum’). I can see  my father singing ‘Yellow Submarine’ and ‘Lily the Pink’ to us.

We kept a guard dog, as burglaries were common. This is the only time in his life that Dad has willingly allowed a domesticated animal in the same house as him, and even then only begrudgingly.  Jane has a distinct memory of the night when we were burgled. The dog didn’t notice anything. Jane woke me up and pointed the out the burglar to me. I remember nothing of this.

Jeff was born in March 1969. Shortly after this we must have moved to England for a brief period and then to Saudi Arabia